


The Sun is Red

by AlienNamedDerek



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Coping, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Love, M/M, Murder, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Slow Burn, farm life, lol, no beta we die like men, recovering, well... sometimes there will be a beta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-31 18:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20120047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienNamedDerek/pseuds/AlienNamedDerek
Summary: Ravenpaw learns to live again.





	1. Dèpaysement

**Author's Note:**

> I have no beta reader, mistakes are my own. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dèpaysement  
n. when someone is taken out of their own familiar world into a new one

The sun cast down from the clear blue sky, seeping through the cracks on the roof of the barn. The little specks of dust could clearly be seen floating with the beams of light, providing something for Ravenpaw to observe. He had already seen the extent of the barn the previous night, the most exhilarating night of his life.

He nestled further into the damp corner he had settled his lithe body into, the light not reaching him. Barley had offered for him to sleep on the bales of hay, but Ravenpaw politely refused. The straws tickled at his face, and it felt completely different from the soft moss he was used to. His thoughts drifted back to his old nest and he endured a melancholy twist in his stomach knowing that he’d never be there again.

He curled in on himself, and waited for Barley to wake. His new living mate was stocky but not short, with thick black and white fur. He had kind, cornflower blue eyes, but Ravenpaw could not hold eye contact for too long before he needed to focus on something else. Barley had been overwhelmingly welcoming toward him, but not far from understanding. Barely seemed wise, but not with age, for he was still a fairly young cat. 

Ravenpaw felt an undeniable pain of longing, awkwardness, uncertainty, and relief surge through his being. He flexed his claws and settled his chin between his jet black paws. The cold ground made him feel alone, even with another cat resting not far from him. But that’s how it always was, even back home. Back home… he should probably stop thinking of Thunderclan like that. Thunderclan wasn’t home anymore. Even there he felt alone, he always felt alone, even from birth. His mother fawned over him, but she never felt like a companion. His brother, Dustpaw, wanted nothing to do with him. He had a shortage of friends, and little guidance.

Graypaw was always kind to him, though, and then Firepaw came around, and maybe he felt his loneliness ebb away. But it was still there. Always there. Lurking. After he witnessed Redtail’s murder, he was sure Starclan hated him. Nothing was ever normal after that. The lingering, looming, feeling of inevitable dread seeped into his mind at every chance, every opportunity, every-

A loud, exaggerated yawn pulled Ravenpaw from his thoughts. Barley rolled onto his back, and then onto his front again. He swung his front legs out ahead of him, and arched his back, successfully stretching out his body after a long sleep, not without a few loud pops from his spine that made Ravenpaw cringe and flatten his ears against his small head.

Barley sighed, swiped his tongue over the pads of his paws, and shook the straws of hay from he ruffled, well-slept-in fur. He turned his head around, again with some cracks, and jumped. Ravenpaw flinched and shot up into a sitting position, his expression becoming even more guarded than it already was. Barley stared at him with bewilderment for a moment before snorting. He huffed out his nose with a sound of amusement before he grinned. His pale pink gums showing a little bit. “I forgot you were here!” He then burst into laughter. “Geez…I bet I look like a real character.” Ravenpaw’s eyes were locked on him, scanning him, his pupils shifting and traveling, before he set his left paw down, which he had raised in an instinct of defense. 

His tail swayed and he backed up a little bit more into his corner, the tension and fear in the air palpable. Barley coughed a bit uncomfortably. “Tough crowd, eh?” His grin faltered a bit before he focused on the sunlight and squinted his eyes. “Warm out” he muttered. Ravenpaw let out a tiny sigh and scuffled at the ground. Barley’s smile returned as he looked to the younger cat. “I would sunbathe, but I bet I’d just doze off again.” Ravenpaw twitched his whiskers and tilted his head to the side, admiring the large wooden walls. 

“You don’t have to talk, you know. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.” Barley’s sudden change to a more serious, straightforward tone made Ravenpaw’s lids open once more from their half-mast position, and he turned his attention back to the larger feline. Appreciative words laid bare on his tongue, which was trapped behind his teeth. As much as he wanted to say a simple “thanks,” his gut told him no. Instead, he gave Barley a curt nod. 

“You don’t have to talk about him, either. You’ll never have to again, not if you don’t want to.” Ravenpaw wanted to cry, but for so many different reasons. Barley’s kindness, faded memories, longing for familiarity, missing his friends, the list went on and on.

Instead, Ravenpaw stood, and looked to Barley. “Wanna wander around the farm?” Barley inquired. Ravenpaw scuffed at the ground, shifting his weight from one paw to another. Barley slipped past him and used his strong figure to push the heavy door open. He padded out the little opening he had created, and waited patiently for Ravenpaw to follow, the smaller cat’s movements still tinged with uncertainty.

Ravenpaw looked out across the beginnings of a crop field that formed on his right side, and wrapped around the barn, filling out behind it. The faint clucks of chicken could be heard, as well as the other animals that occupied the farm, including cows, pigs, sheep, horses, and goats. Ravenpaw already knew what chickens, cows, sheep, and horses were, but Barley filled in the blanks that were pigs and goats. Goats looked like less poofy sheep, and pigs looked like nothing he’d ever seen before, it fascinated him.

Last night Ravenpaw had seen the animal pens, the chicken coop (as Barley called it), the wheat field, and the barn. He could also see the two leg nest from almost anywhere on the farm. Barley had assured him that the two legs didn’t mind stray cats hanging about, and that they even fed him sometimes. This did not ease Ravenpaw's worries or prejudices even a little bit. 

“Oof, it sure is sunny today. A nice change from the usual drab weather we’ve been having.” 

Ravenpaw had learned that weather was something cats spoke about when there was nothing else to say, although he did not think he believed that to be true, since it seemed as if Barley always had something to talk about.

Ravenpaw wished he could be like that.

Barley was everything he wasn’t. Funny, laidback, charming, happy, talkative, thoughtful, extroverted, smart, happy…

Ravenpaw found himself getting lost in his sea of wonderings once again. These thoughts intruded and pained him, but how could he escape his own head? He felt trapped, just as he did at the clan, this barn was no escape. If Tigerclaw wouldn’t achieve in killing him then surely his own mind would.

His breathing quickened and his chest felt tight. Without a word to Barley, he turned away and trotted back into the barn, found that spot in the corner, and settled himself down once more. Barley peeked in and followed him inside, but asked nothing of Ravenpaw, and for that, 

Ravenpaw was eternally grateful.


	2. Alexithymia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alexithymia  
n. an inability to describe emotions in a verbal manner

Barley swiped his tongue over his teeth as the wind, which was spotted with little bits of pollen, ruffled his heavy fur. The cool breeze felt like salvation from the bloated sun.

Barley silently wished as he sat atop of the barn that Ravenpaw was by his side. He did his best to try and do right by the former clan cat, but that became increasingly more difficult than he had expected.

Barley understood that he was going through a lot… but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel a bit frustrated. Did that make him a bad cat? He sighed through clenched teeth. 

Barley dropped down between a crack in the roof, landing in a crouched position onto a long, wooden beam. 

He turned his attention to the small, sad-looking cat huddled in his usual corner, his eyes stuck to the ground. Barley’s face fell as he observed the pitiful site. The larger cat leaped onto the large bales of hay that were stacked on top of eachother and pushed against the wall.

“Ravenpaw!” He called. The tiny cat’s head whipped around in a startled manner, his ears flat against his head.

“I’m going to go hunt, would you like to join me? The mice here are well fed and they sure taste like it!” Barley smiled and waited for an answer. 

When none came, he flexed his claws awkwardly. “Ravenpaw…?” 

Ravenpaw flicked his ears around the barn, his muzzle turned into a frown. Barley rubbed the pad of his paw against his cheek as he contemplated what to say to break the pregnant pause. 

Barley had realized that Ravenpaw always seemed highly uncomfortable when he was in Barley’s presence. That was a slight blow to Barley’s feelings, considering he always tried his best to be as friendly as possible, but he knew he couldn’t blame Ravenpaw. Barley hated to admit it, but he sort of wished he could blame some cat for his troubles, an excuse if you will. 

Thoughts like these filled Barley with immeasurable shame, but Barley knew what he was getting himself into when he agreed to take in a traumatized cat. 

Barley never had too much responsibility before, and was mostly a loner, with the exception of visiting his sister at her owner’s house. Having a fellow cat live with him was quite an odd thing, even ignoring the whole emotionally damaged part…

Ravenpaw’s expression made Barley considerably upset. He looked horrified. “...Barley?” Ravenpaw’s soft voice caught his attention, it was hardly above a whisper.

“Y-Yes!” The larger cat responded a bit frantically. This was one of the first times Ravenpaw had ever spoken to him, excluding the vague explanation from him when the shivering, soaking wet cat showed up at the barn door. 

This was progress!

“Are there s-snakes a-around here?” 

Barley smiled, “no, no way,” he lied. “Why do you ask?” Ravenpaw’s head was down and his face out of view. “I...I don’t like snakes…”

“Psh, what cat does? It’s normal to avoid them, don’t worry.” Barley hopped down the hay bales. When he landed on the ground, Ravenpaw flinched a bit. 

Barley then realized that talking to the smaller cat from the top of a large stack of hay bales probably was a bit intimidating, and that he most likely should’ve avoided that.

“So, do you wanna come? It’ll be good for you, I think, to get out of this boring barn.” 

Ravenpaw bobbed his head up and down tensely. 

Barley practically beamed. “Well, come on then! No time to waste!” He paused for a moment. “Actually, that’s a lie, we have plenty of time to waste!” 

And just then, he could’ve sworn he caught a fleeting, shy smile from the black cat.


	3. Abience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abience  
n. the strong urge to avoid someone or something

Ravenpaw loved his mother and his father.

His mother was warm and soft, and she smelled of honey and milk. Ravenpaw loved the rumbling vibrations that would travel through his tiny body when his mother would press her form to her kit and purr against him. Ravenpaw was two and a half moons when he was finally weaned off his mother’s milk, which was longer than the regular kit. His brother used to tease him about it.

His father was an understanding cat and a respected warrior who always did his best to boost Ravenpaw’s nonexistent self confidence. Ravenpaw would often fondly remember the times when he was a few moons old and would bury his nose in the fur of his father’s flank, and he would breathe in his scent of pine. His brother would tell him that he was getting too old to always stick to his father’s side.

Ravenpaw had made friends with a fellow apprentice by the name of Graypaw. Graypaw was a cheery one. When Ravenpaw and his new friend were out on a walk, Dustpaw had perched himself on a branch high up above the forest floor. When the two young toms padded underneath said branch, Dustpaw had begun to shake it, showering and pelting them with acorns. The two apprentices scurried away from the onslaught which was followed by slowly fading laughter. After a bit of running, the friends stopped and caught their breath. Graypaw turned to the black cat, who looked shrunken like a frightened kitten, and said though huffs of air: “I don’t like your brother very much.”

When Dustpaw had his first stab of young love, he would often do things to impress the young she-cat of his desire. She had striking green eyes and her fur had a certain shine to it. Dustpaw would jab at Ravenpaw, sometimes with his words and sometimes with his claws, and sometimes with both. Ravenpaw was often reminded that it was “all in good fun.” After these instances, Dustpaw would hurry off to his crush, and they would chuckle together. Well, Ravenpaw thought, dust and sand go together.

When Tigerclaw became accusatory toward Ravenpaw, that was when the real nightmare began. Looks toward Ravenpaw would change, and he often found his brother’s hard stare to linger on him, his expression unreadable. Ravenpaw did not like the feeling of being watched.

Ravenpaw loved his mother and his father but he did not love his brother.

He did not love his brother.


	4. Hiraeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiraeth  
n. a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past

Ravenpaw huddled into his corner as he traced etchings into the dirt beneath him. The humidity in the air was particularly high that day, and Ravenpaw’s fur seemed to ruffle easier. He didn’t mind it, though. It just gave him the excuse to keep grooming, therefore giving him something to focus on.  
His hunting session with Barley the other day had gone alright. Not many words were exchanged but it wasn’t awkward. The silence was comforting. The more time Ravenpaw spent with his new companion the more the silence moments became less uneasy, and more inviting.  
The difficult moments were when Ravenpaw tried to hold a conversation. The young cat had learned early in his life that it’s better not to stand out, to hold your tongue. Barley was quite the talkative, cheery one- and he reminded him a lot of Graypaw. 

The tense cat swished his tail back and forth, side to side, up and down, back and forth, side to side, up and down, back and forth, side to side, up and down…

His mind returned to the memories of running through the thick forest, chasing nothing in particular- his two partners in crime flying beside him. The wind pushed his ears back as his claws pulled at the dirt as he pounded ahead, weaving through the trees and leaping over jutting roots.

Ravenpaw missed his parents, he missed Graypaw, and he missed Firepaw. He missed the smells of the forest flooding through his body and strengthening his bones. He missed the huddled bodies of apprentices resting in their den after a day filled with training.

Barley was lazing outside against a fence, soaking up the beating sun. Ravenpaw sighed and for whatever reason, a great rush of sadness filled his body. He wished the ground would swallow him up. Maybe then he could be taken home. No, not home. He can never go back- he knows that. He _knows_ that.

But why can’t he accept that?

He knew he was safe. He knew he wasn’t here. He knew that he thought he was dead. He knew he’d never find him. But somehow, none of that mattered. Ravenpaw was drowning, and no matter how much he clawed and flailed in the water he could never reach the surface. 

Just then, Barley trotted through the entrance of the barn, the doors were pushed wide open to let the sun bathe the inside of the barn. He smiled at Ravenpaw, and the smaller cat returned the smile with an underlying sense of wariness. He saw happiness light up Barley’s pale blue eyes, which in turn made little bursts of joy float throughout Ravenpaw’s body, pulling him from his thoughts. 

Seeing others happy made Ravenpaw happy. Ravenpaw was grateful he didn’t live alone. Barley’s presence made his life a little bit more than just sitting in a corner all day. If it were up to him, that’s what it would be like 24/7.

The days creeped by at a slow pace, and the night felt even slower. He had trouble falling asleep, but he never wanted to anyway, the fear of nightmares kept him up. The fear of being found, the fear of being watched, kept him up til’ the early hours of the morning. His thoughts were scattered, his mind racing all over. 

Ravenpaw’s head lowered and his eyes trained once again on the ground. 

“Ravenpaw? Hey? You doing okay?”

His head jerked back up- eyes frightened. Had he done something wrong? Barely wouldn’t yell at him. Of course he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t be disappointed. 

“You uh… kinda space out sometimes, y’know? You- you can totally do that- I’m not saying you can’t- it just kinda… worries me a bit. I mean- you can go into your head and everything I just wanna make sure you’re okay- you just do it a lot. You got that?” 

Ravenpaw’s eye shifted. Barley looked wildly uncomfortable- as if he had said something wrong. Ravenpaw knew how that felt. The smaller tom began to stand- then laid back down. Softly, Ravenpaw’s voice ghosted; “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize. You’re okay. You did nothing wrong, alright?”

“Okay.”

“So you’re doing good, you’re okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you wanna sleep on a hay bale tonight?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? They’re erm- they’re pretty comfy.”

“I’m sure.”

“Alrighty, so there’s lots of day left- wanna come outside?”

“Not really.”

“Uhm- okay. Have fun- uh- in here.”

“Okay.”

Barley smiled at him and turned one way- then turned the other way- and padded off back through the barn doors. 

Ravenpaw watched him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking over a month to update. My life has been pretty busy as of late, and I've had the draft of this chapter sitting in my computer collecting dust for way too long. I finally decided to revise it and writing this story made me happy, and I miss that feeling. I promise the next update won't take so long! Thank you all for your continuous support.


	5. Retrouvaille

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> n. the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery

Barley’s claws traced the crevices of the wooden fence he was perched upon. 

Violet groomed her sleek fur, as she continued to insist that she didn’t need Barley to hunt for her, that the food her twolegs provide her was perfectly fine.

Barley was never a very picky eater, but kittypet food never looked very appetizing. 

His sister was still as delicate as ever. She was much too fragile to stay in Bloodclan all those seasons ago. Barley says he left to protect her, but perhaps he was too fragile as well.

“Really, please, you must hunt all the time. Relax.”

“It’s no trouble, but if you keep refusing I guess I’ll have to listen, won’t I?” His whiskers twitched in amusement. His body draped lazily atop the wood structure. 

Violet tipped her small head to the side, just like an owl. She had quite owl-like features, her large eyes and small nose. Concern washed over her. “Barley… you look so tired.”

“There’s- well- things have been difficult at the barn. I have a new livingmate. He’ll be staying at the barn until forever, or at least if he decides not to live anywhere else.” 

Her ears perked up at that. Barley had never lived with another cat after they had parted all that time ago. He had the occasional visitor, wandering loners who took shelter for a few days, but never another cat living there permanently. 

“Who is he?”

“His name is Ravenpaw. He’s from Thunderclan, y’know, in the forest. He’s had some trauma so it’s- it’s not exactly easy to connect with him. Or talk with him, or, or to do anything with him, for that matter.”

“Well it sounds like he’s been through a lot, B.”

“Oh! I know! I’m not blaming him. I understand. Doesn’t make it any less difficult…”

“It’s best to be patient. What’s he like?”

Barley sniffled. “He’s very distant. He’s quiet and he likes to sit in the corner of the barn and just, like, stare. Sometimes at the ground, sometimes just straight ahead. It’s a little odd but I don’t like to bother him. He gets night terrors, too. Screams and thrashes around. It’s very frightening for me, can’t imagine what it’s like for him. Other than all that, he’s seems nice enough. Shy but very civil. A great hunter, too. Guess all that training paid off…”

Barley let his voice drift off until the words died in his throat. He really didn’t know much about the other cat. Guilt swept over him. 

Violet’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts- “well, they say time heals all wounds.”

“Maybe…”

The bugs chirped and sang as the hot sun beat down on the dry ground. A dying plant sat in a pot just inside the glass door leading inside to Violet’s house. “Hot today,” he murmured. 

Violet continued to look at him from her lowered lids. “Yes.” She closed her eyes and began to lick the pad of her left paw.

“Maybe I should get going.”

“Ah, so early?”

“I have something to do. Next visit you’ll come by, right?”

“Would that be a good idea with- what’s his name?”

“Ravenpaw”

“-Yes- would that be a good idea with Ravenpaw around?”

“No, maybe not. I’ll come by again soon, I promise.”

“You’d better”

Barley leaped down from the fence to nuzzle the striped she-cat, before climbing back over, the two littermate exchanged goodbyes from other sides of the fence.

He knew the way back to the barn by heart, and it felt nice to stretch his legs. He’d been lazing around all day, aside from the walk to Violet. Despite living relatively close, they only ever visited once in a blue moon. Sometimes Barley would come by and Violet wouldn’t be home, or the other way around. Barley had always told himself to visit more often, but those plans never came to fruition. 

But talking to Violet was always nice. Sometimes the barn was a little too lonely.

Well, it wouldn’t be anymore, Barley supposed.

But it might as well be, with Ravenpaw stationing himself to the corner, only occasionally leaving to wander outside for a bit.

After padding the rest of the way home, Barley parked himself outside of the barn. He pressed his ear to the door of the barn, and listened to the quiet sobs that were muffled by the shut entrance.

The corners of Barley’s mouth tugged downward into a frown. He shuffled his paws while debating whether to go inside or not. 

Was it his place?

The large tom looked to the ground as the soft cries continued.

His throat felt clogged and his stomach tied into a knot as he faced the doors once more.

He turned and padded back out into the sunshine, but he didn’t feel like sunbathing.

So Barley walked for the sake of walking,

to nowhere in particular.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been awhile. Guess I lied last chapter when I said the next chapter wouldn't take so long. I always loved reading about Violet in the books and really wanted to include her in the story.
> 
> Happy holidays, to whom it applies.  
(This was posted on Christmas, despite what AO3 likes to tell me.)


	6. Cingulomania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cingulomania  
n. a strong desire to hold a person in your arms

And in the scorching sun did The Beast remain, prowling, ever-present, ever watching. Ever darkness. And He finds himself dwelling in the shadows when He becomes too weary. The true darkness, not one that you fall into- but a youth- strains against his will. The Large One finds a twisted pleasure in this game that they play, but only seldom, as the rest of the time is clouded with vexation and disconnect. Perhaps He is only awaiting his victory. The two intertwine, unwillingly. Tumbling in circles- a cat and mouse game. On the occasion that The Beast catches the mouse’s tail- the whimpering one is convinced it is the end. Until the sweltering heat saves him once more, and the blazing flame wards Him off. 

Ravenpaw jerked awake in a cold sweat. The soft pads of his paws were soaked in worry, face twisted in anguish. His first thought is of his mother, how her sweet, milk-scented fur would linger as he hid himself in her care. But although young, he was full-grown, and would not fit in his mother's embrace. She was as petite as he.

The air seemed oddly stifling. The heat was not kind, not like in his dreams. His nightmares. A pair of green eyes shot to the door, but no- it was too heavy. It would awake the other. Ravenpaw crept low to the ground, a small dark paw pushed into the straw. Barley seemed to have the right idea, it would be nice to sleep on after all. 

But Ravenpaw could never. A head shook and a body leaped stealthily onto the first hay bale. Advancing carefully and frightfully, the young cat always had a knack for being graceful when he needed to be.

Finally, he was able to slip onto the beams that stretched both the length and width of the barn. The dark tom found the gap in the roof and squeezed his willowy form through the small opening. 

Emerging on the other side, he gasped, and fresh air was pulled into his lungs.

Sitting atop the roof’s slates, the former clan cat contemplated his new life, and considered his old one. He thought of what could’ve been, thought of how his life would’ve played out if this or that hadn’t happened. If he wasn’t like this or like that, maybe things would have been different.

-

Barley blinked his eyes blearily open. His jaw stretched open in a large yawn as he groggily rolled over. The tomcat kneaded the hay beneath him and turned his head toward his companion’s nook. The sleep was quickly knocked out of Barley by the realization that Ravenpaw was gone. Ravenpaw had never left the barn without Barley.

Panic set in even more forcefully as he realized that the door was shut. How did he leave without waking Barley up? Barley immediately shot up and called out for his livingmate. “Ravenpaw?!” His voice sounded more frightened than he meant it to sound. Suddenly a thump came from above him.

Relief flooded through him, “oh, Ravenpaw! There you are! Shoot, I didn’t even think of you being on the roof… I’m so stupid.” He chuckled nervously and shook his head. “You scared me there!” His joy quickly declined as he actually _looked_ at the young cat. He was shaking, and his eyes were wide. He looked scared out of his mind. 

“Hey now, you’re okay…” He tried his best to sound soothing. “I-I’m sorry,” Ravenpaw replied, his voice cracking. 

“No, Ravenpaw, you didn’t do anything wrong! I swear! I-it’s just me being ridiculous.” 

Ravenpaw nodded jerkily, not looking any better. He gently leaped down from the beam he previously stood upon, landing softly on a hay bale. The smaller cat slunk down the stack until he stationed himself in his usual corner. 

Barley looked on in sadness. The younger tom looked… well… pathetic. Barley sighed and sat down, watching as Ravenpaw curled in on himself. 

Later that day, Barley returned from hunting, dropping a fat mouse in front of the black cat. “Enjoy!” He meowed cheerfully. Ravenpaw swallowed, bobbing his head. “Thank you,” he murmured. Barley flicked his tail at that and turned his head, staring out the door.

“I… think I’ll visit my sister again.” He swung his head around and considered the other cat. “You’ll be okay?”

Ravenpaw seemed to consider him back, nervously. Turning his eyes to the mouse he choked up a small “y-yeah…”

Barley twisted his muzzle, a concerned look painted his face. “Well, alright.” 

He turned to leave, padding across the barn and slipping through the open door. Sighing, Barley felt terrible. As he let his paws take him to the familiar two-leg nest, he thought about the day he had.

And later, he recited this to Violet: “...And for the rest of the day, he just seemed out of it. He didn’t even try to respond to my ramblings, just looked at the ground. The only time he spoke to me was to apologize that morning, when I caught him a mouse, and when I asked if it was okay for me to go see you and leave him alone. Five words, five words all day! And it’s almost evening!” He sighed. “And here I was, thinking it was getting better.”

Violet listened actively, she always did. Oh, how Barley loved her. She spoke in her usual gentle tone, “Maybe try to talk about what happened, make sure he knows that you’re not angry with him.” Barley thought for a moment. “But, I’ve been showing him that I’m not angry with him all day! I’ve been talking to him normally and I caught him a mouse.” 

“I know, Barley, but some cats need that extra reassurance, y’know?” She tilted her head and smiled. “I had an old mate like that, he just needed a lot of verbal comfort.” 

Barley opened his mouth to respond when suddenly there was a merry “Hello!” From behind Violet. An orange and white she-cat with a thick blue collar hanging from her neck stood behind his sister. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had a visitor!” She mewed. 

“Stella!” Violet called happily. “Come here! This is my brother, Barley, the one I was telling you about!” _Telling you about?_ Barley swallowed nervously. He felt himself flush as Stella trotted over. Her eyes were a deep copper and her coat was fluffed and ruffled. Her smile lit something in Barley and suddenly his tongue felt too heavy to speak.

“Hi Barley!” She meowed. Barley’s stomach swirled and he stared dumbly at her, before quickly snapping out of his trance. “‘H’llo.” 

Stella laughed softly and smiled again. Oh, my… Barley felt himself tremble. Violet turned to her friend. “Barley took in a clan cat, and we were just talking about him. He’s very shy and frightful, but Barley’s very kind and patient with him!” His littermate looked back at Barley and winked with a grin. If Barley wasn’t embarrassed before, he certainly was now. 

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you!” Stella looked at him with adoring eyes. Barley shifted, running a paw over his ear. “It’s really nothing….” He trailed off.

The rest of the visit was filled with more embarrassment and more stunted conversation. Before he left, after Stella had already gone back to her home, Violet spoke to him with a twinkle in her eye. “So I suppose you’ll come visit me more often now, hm?” She mewed playfully. 

Barley averted his eyes bashfully. “Oh, quiet.” He leaped from the wooden fence and called his goodbyes as a started home. The rest of the way was filled with thoughts of Stella.

Arriving back at those large barn doors, he was pulled from his thoughts and came back down to reality. He slipped quietly inside and was happy to see Ravenpaw resting in his corner. He opted to leave the door open as to not wake the younger cat. 

He padded over and watched Ravenpaw closely. He looked… peaceful. It was the first time Barley had seen him like that. He smiled at the sight but quickly realized how odd it would be if Ravenpaw were to wake up and see Barley staring at him like he was. 

He climbed up to the top of the haybale stack and decided to go to sleep early. Maybe he’d wake up at dawn for once! He chuckled softly to himself and rested his chin atop his paws, drifting off into a deep sleep, thinking of tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god... it's almost been a year... hasn't it... well shit. Sorry about that! Haha, this chapter isn't my favorite, it's kind of lame in fact, but hopefully I'll get out of my writing funk soon. I was so eager to just GET THIS CHAPTER OUT that I opted not to send this to my lovely friend who offered to beta for it. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone who expressed their joy over this fic, whether it be comments, kudos, or bookmarks, you guys are pretty much the main reason I'm sticking with this fic. 
> 
> Love you guys, and hopefully next chapter will not take as long as this one did...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, there will be more to come. I have no update schedule. Kudos and comments aren’t expected, but are greatly appreciated.


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